


Heaven Has Forsaken Me

by draculard



Category: Bàwáng Bié Jī | Farewell My Concubine (1993)
Genre: Aka this is a rewrite of the scene where Master Ni is a huge creep, Canon NonCon, Canon Underage, Eunuchy Snip Snip, Genital Mutilation, M/M, Watersports, Which is canon but I don't think it's mentioned in the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-02 02:14:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17879168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/draculard/pseuds/draculard
Summary: Xiao Douzi enters the old man's chambers in full costume, his makeup streaked with sweat. The first thing that catches his eye is a faded photograph of a boy his age, half-dressed in Qing Dynasty robes.





	Heaven Has Forsaken Me

Master Ni was only a child when they dragged him before the court photographer and ordered him to undo his robes. He wore nothing underneath, and that’s how he was immortalized -- with his robes spread apart, revealing his nude body and the hairless, scarred lump between his legs. His eyes were wide in the photograph, his mouth open. Years later, he can’t remember what he was about to say.

The photograph found its way into his possession and it sits in his apartments now, dressed in a simple bronze frame. Some visitors don’t understand the significance of the photograph. Xiao Douzi, standing uncertainly in the doorway in a costume far too large for him, doesn’t understand the meaning of the word eunuch, not in whole. 

“Sit,” says Master Ni genially, and he gestures at his lap, not at the floor. The boy hesitates -- how old is he, Master Ni wonders? Hard to tell under all the makeup. Surely no older than eleven, but he’s smaller and slighter than the other boys in Master Guan’s troupe, and that makes an estimate almost impossible.

Master Ni was eleven when his photo was taken.

He lifts the boy, slim and light, into his lap, and runs his hands down his spine. That white face stares up at him, smeared inexpertly with rouge. The eyes are dark and graceful, full of all the innocence of a child and all the coy, seductive power of the Emperor’s favorite consort.

Master Ni reaches down, finding the Xiao Douzi’s ass and pinching it; his caress is almost maternal, the look in his eyes affectionate.

“No one has ever touched you like this,” says Master Ni. It’s almost a question.

“No,” says the boy. He forgets to be polite, but his voice is small and deferential.

“Do you like it?” asks Master Ni. He pinches again, harder, and doesn’t stop until Xiao Douzi is squirming on his lap, unknowingly pressed against the nub of scar tissue where Master Ni’s penis used to be. Xiao Douzi puts his small, orchid hands against Master Ni’s chest and tries to push himself away.

He doesn’t get anywhere. Master Ni holds him still.

“Do you like it?” he asks again, and the boy hesitates, biting his lip.

“Yes,” he says finally. Most likely, Master Ni knows, the boy is lying to spare his feelings, to get this over with quickly. But Master Ni also remembers the uncomfortable thrill he felt at eleven years old, exposing his warped genitals to the camera for a handsome man he didn’t even know.

So he feels justified in what he’s doing. He can spot boys like himself a mile away. Xiao Douzi’s partner, the little rock, may not be one of them -- it’s too early to tell -- but Xiao Douzi certainly is, and he’ll come to enjoy this experience as much as he hates it. 

With one hand on the boy’s neck, Master Ni coaxes Xiao Douzi to lean into him, pressing his powdered face against Master Ni’s shoulder. 

“Will you let me see it?” Master Ni whispers. The boy stops breathing for a moment, hesitating again. He shifts in Master Ni’s lap, his posture stiff and uncomfortable.

“I think --” he says, so quietly Master Ni doesn’t hear him. “I think I have to pee.”

Silently, Master Ni guides the boy off his lap. He gestures toward the old spitoon near the end of his bed, and doesn’t hide his keen interest. Xiao Douzi may feign ignorance, but he knows what Master Ni is asking, and he knows that he’s giving consent.

Still, the boy turns away as he takes out his penis. Small, untouched by puberty, but still whole, still healthy. Unharmed.

Master Ni sighs. He stands up when he hears Xiao Douzi’s urine tinkling into the spitoon and circles around, cognizant of the boy’s uncomfortable stare. Now they are facing each other, and he can see the moment when Xiao Douzi decides to think nothing of this, nothing of the older man watching him piss in an old spitoon. His eyes close. From the waist up, he is Yu Ji. From the waist down, he is something Master Ni can never be.

Xiao Douzi’s shoulders relax. His stream trickles to a halt. He doesn’t put his penis away.

“Please,” says Master Ni, kneeling on the other side of the spitoon. “Let me?”

The boy stares down at him, eyes hooded, and Master Ni can’t tell if he’s looking at the child or the concubine.

“Let me?” Master Ni says again, and the boy nods almost imperceptibly, and Master Ni begins to suck -- and suck -- and suck -- and all the while he keeps his eyes closed, breathing in the smell of Xiao Douzi’s sweat from the performance, and Xiao Douzi keeps his own eyes on the wall, and the half-naked boy in the photograph stares out at them, his shame exposed, his mouth opened wide in a cry Master Ni can no longer remember.


End file.
